Warne and Marsh - Two Lost Legends

Normally when a great cricketer dies or retires, I celebrate their careers with a review of their statistics. So many wickets, runs in X Tests or Y one-dayers, and so on. Today, the double blow to not just Australian but world cricket goes way beyond pure numbers and are facts.

I read a few days ago about Rod Marsh’s heart attack and that the prognosis wasn’t good. Therefore, when a perusal of the BBC Sport website revealed news of his passing, it came as little surprise. When I looked just an hour or so later to find the face of Shane Warne, I just couldn’t believe it. Surely a mistake, a joke, a malicious troll. But, no. He was gone at 52.

It’s rare for a sportsman to transcend his game and his own country’s borders in the way both Marsh and Warne did. Cricket fans in England are supposed to hate Aussies, like Real Madrid and Barcelona FC or Germany and Holland, but it was hard to dislike these two.

The 1970s was the decade when I first developed an interest in cricket. Swashbuckling Caribbean batsmen like Lloyd, Richards and Greenidge were my first heroes but powerful personalities were few and far between, especially in the UK, pre- Botham. Dennis Lillee possessed the most menace: all swaying necklace, bristling moustache and never-ending run-up. However, Rod Marsh’s ‘tache was just as famous and he, too, wore his heart on his sleeve. I recall once seeing him on the TV take a catch off a Lillee lifter which wasn’t given out. He clearly turned behind him and no expert was needed to see his lips form an “Aw, F*CK!” You couldn’t imagine Alan Knott saying that!

Like most of his countrymen, Marsh didn’t play county cricket so I only got to watch him on the box during Ashes series or in the 1975 World Cup. He wasn’t the smoothest of run scorers, nor the most elegant of wicketkeepers. Far from it. But he was a fantastic gloveman and always held your attention.

I don’t think Shane Warne ever kept wicket but he, too was a magnificent showman. He famously never quite managed a Test century (Marsh made three) but then that’s not what he was in the side to do. That was to take wickets, bamboozle the opposition and if he couldn’t get them out, then at least befuddle them so much that Glenn McGrath would finish the job. Although he spent several fine seasons in the 2000s at Hampshire, I only witnessed at first-hand two pre-interval overs from Shane, delivered during the 1997 Lord’s Test when McGrath was busy collecting 8-38. I felt cheated that I didn’t see more.

I was never a fan of his booze ’n’ fags lifestyle, the bleach-blond surfer dude persona, but I came to appreciate his increasing contribution to the sport. The drugs ban, poker and Liz Hurley didn’t endear him to me but he was clearly well liked on the circuit. Off the field, he seemed to people like me that he acted dumb and yet, for all the ‘couldn’t give a shit’ attitude, he obviously cared passionately about cricket and was an extremely clever bowler. He may have taken a spanking at times but he pretty much single-handedly reinvented the art of leg-spin. With the establishment of Twenty20 cricket, we have taken leggies for granted but before burly spiky-haired Shane burst onto the scene in the early ‘90s, there were perhaps only one or two plying their trade in the county game. After two decades of pacemen being the coolest breed in the game, Warne made slow bowling sexy again.

Of course, the Ball of the Century made a difference, and I will always treasure it not only for the prodigious movement off the pitch but also for the bemused expression on Mike Gatting’s face as he trudged off the pitch. I never did like him! I saw the former England captain speaking on Zoom this morning, giving a warm, emotional eulogy for the ordinary bloke from Victoria who had been such an on-field enemy but off-field mate.

That seems to be the gist of all the obituaries and tweets from the other giants of the sport, from Viv to Virat, Lara to Tendulkar. As Warne admitted many times in interviews, what you saw is what you got. He had his flaws but that’s why people liked him. He may not have been the most gifted bowler of all time, nor the greatest all-rounder but as a passionate cricketer who encouraged maybe millions to share his love of the game, Rod Marsh’s former Academy pupil was second to none. I still can’t believe he’s gone.

The Hundred: 20 to 11

20: Shane Warne

Let’s face it. Shane Warne would have made this list just for That Ball to Mike Gatting in 1993. Add in his almost single-handed revival of the leg-spinner’s art, his memorable battle with Muralitharan to set new Test wicket records, his astute captaincy for Hampshire and astonishing bowling for Australia in the 2005 Ashes series, and he was a top 10 shoo-in. However his mid-career boorishness and his shiny-toothed, poker-playing late-career IPL persona let home down a tad but I still wouldn’t argue with any claim that SK Warne is one of the greatest bowlers ever. 

19: James Taylor

This corker of a batsman drew my attention in the late Noughties when his teenage batting accomplishments for Leicestershire leapt out of the scorecards and Fantasy Cricket webpages. Cricinfo told me he was only 5 feet 4 (although he has apparently grown two inches since then!) which served to – er – heighten his appeal. Switching to Notts got him noticed by England and he was already an ODI regular when in April 2016 he was diagnosed with an incurable heart condition, prompting immediate retirement at just 26. A huge loss as a player but he’s now a respected selector. 

18: Chaminda Vaas

Sri Lanka’s golden era in the late 1990s and Noughties is often characterised by the feats of Murali, Jayasuriya, Dilshan, Jayawardene and Sangakkara but for me, the left-arm pace bowler Chaminda Vaas was just as important. As well as claiming 355 Test victims, he remains one of the most successful ODI wicket-takers in history, and nobody else has ever taken eight in a single innings. A true class act. I also love the fact that his initials (WPUJC) are longer than his family name! 

17: Keith Boyce

Perhaps his greatest moment came for the West Indies with the ball in the 1973 Oval Test when his lovely languid action and deceptive pace captured 11 England wickets. However, my primary personal memory of KD Boyce hails from his long spell with Essex. It wasn’t so much his bowling or his explosive late-order hitting but his extraordinarily fast and athletic throwing from the boundary. In the first match I ever attended I tried to capture him in action but it was all a blur. Sadly a chronic knee injury forced an early retirement and he succumbed to alcoholism aged just 53. 

16: Kumar Sangakkara

Many top cricketers see their form tail off towards the end of their careers but Kumar Sangakkara seemed to improve with age. Even more elegant than his long-time colleague in the Sri Lanka engine room, Mahela Jayawardene, he not only spent many hours at the crease but huge chunks behind the stumps as ‘keeper but his most successful year in Tests came in 2014 aged 37 and he retired with an extraordinary batting average of 57. A tidy scorer in ODIs and a fine IPL captain, I also recall Sanga’s glorious run of centuries for Surrey in his final seasons. Whether in World Cup Finals or a dull day in Derby, he was always a credit to the game. 

15: David Gower

If Sangakkara epitomises the classical left-hander of the twenty-first century, then his 1980s equivalent would have to be David Gower. His air of effortless superiority as a commentator was matched by his batting for Leicestershire and England. His cover drive was a thing of extraordinary beauty but opposition slips would usually lick their lips in anticipation of an edge! He may have seemed over-nonchalant but that was his style. As captain he won the 1985 Ashes but was unfortunate to lead poor sides to 5-0 defeats against the Windies. He also played on his aristocratic air with laid-back humour on the comedy quiz They Think It’s All Over.

 14: Asif Iqbal

As a boy I loved watching Asif Iqbal play, but with hindsight he’s not an obvious choice. He wasn’t the most exciting member of Pakistan’s excellent side of the Seventies but he always seemed such a slim, trim, tidy batsman with a dashing blade and an effective medium-pace bowling action. When he wasn’t on the TV captaining his country in World Cups, Asif was a crucial all-round cog of Kent’s successful machine, winning plenty of trophies in the early part of that decade.  A player I aspired to imitate – an ambition doomed to fail miserably….. 

13: Michael Holding

What boy wouldn’t want to copy Michael Holding’s bowling action? But it’s one thing to run rhythmically with both hands sitting easy at the waist, and another to deliver explosive 90mph bouncers or yorkers. He really was poetry in motion, although that probably wasn’t the phrase used by his victims. ‘Whispering Death’, indeed. His 14-149 for the West Indies at The Oval in ’76 set the standard for a career punctuated by injuries and he remained a highly effective paceman well in to the Eighties. 

12: Kane Williamson

A 20 year-old Williamson first drew my attention on BBC West’s regional news programme. He spoke intelligently about developing local talent in Bristol and I have subsequently followed his rapid rise from Gloucestershire novice to New Zealand skipper with great interest. He’s one of the favoured few contemporary cricketers who make batting look so easy, and it doesn’t matter whether he’s striking a red or white ball. His Test average tops 50 but it’s Kane the citizen I also admire.

11: James Hildreth

Somerset have developed a load of brilliant batsmen over the decades, from Botham to Banton but surely none have been better, without gaining full international honours, than James Hildreth. He’s been mediocre so far this summer but for ages he’s been one of the county’s most consistent and prolific batsmen. I can’t believe it’s eleven years since his eye-opening triple century and fifteen since he scored the winning runs (off Jimmy Anderson!) to win the Twenty20 Cup. However, it was only last May when I witnessed Hildy steering Somerset to 50-over glory with 69 not out.

My Favourite Bowlers of all time

As with music, football clubs or TV programmes, favouritism makes no claim to equate with sheer quality, no matter how passionately the advocate makes his or her case. My personal favourite cricketers cover a wide range from undisputed giants of the game to aficionados of specific counties and/or those with lengthy memories. The list of bowlers is a case in point.

As a child, I loved to watch bowlers’ actions face-on, a standard perspective in the days when the Beeb could only afford cameras at one end. Many of my most memorable pacemen in particular date from that period when I’d channel my studies of the people I’d watched on TV into personations in the back garden. England’s John Snow had a distinctive delivery action but my first fave was someone whose notable quirk was the way during his run-up he held both arms low.

Sarfraz Nawaz was a staple of Northamptonshire’s attack in the Seventies, winning many caps for Pakistan along the way. Although taller than most, it was his moustache which also made him stand out. More recently he has been credited with inventing reverse swing, which has become an essential part of a fast bowler’s armoury.

Talking of cricketing moustaches, as much part of the mid-Seventies as flares and ‘O’ level revision, Dennis Lillee’s facial fuzz was even more recognisable, and remains his trademark to this day. His bristling, bustling demeanour and devastating pace combined to hammer thorns in the side of England on many occasions, from 1972 to the early Eighties, when his moustache was complemented by a coloured headband. He was no shrinking violet, often controversial for the sake of it, but always watchable. Even in his slower dotage, his skill and accuracy knew no bounds. Had it not been for a few brilliant Botham performances, the 1981 Ashes could well have been named after Lillee and Terry Alderman who between them garnered 81 wickets!

In mid-decade, Dennis and Jeff Thomson wreaked so much havoc against the West Indies that Clive Lloyd fathomed that his side needed to meet fire with fire. Thus the strategy of four-man Caribbean seam attacks was born. At first, this looked thrilling. The brutal bouncers, run-ups so long that they began almost from the laps of front row spectators, the prospect of athletic evasive action or humungous hooks for six  all added to the atmosphere of open hostility. The snorting Andy Roberts, smooth-as-silk Michael Holding, Colin Croft and Wayne Daniel got away with almost anything but after a year or two the novelty began to wear off rapidly. The average over rate dropped from around eighteen an hour to eleven, batsmen suffered more nasty injuries and, much as I adored Caribbean cricket, the bowling philosophy was making Test matches increasingly tedious to watch. Eventually the authorities had to introduce restrictions on the short-pitched stuff and minimum over rules to restore the balance between bat and ball before boredom and broken bones took control.

Holding in full flight was a wonder to behold, and his predecessor Keith Boyce always lively but my favoured West Indian quick was Joel Garner. Apart from the fact he played for Somerset, he didn’t rely on a relentless sprint to the wicket to breed fear in the facing batsman. Off a mere dozen loping languid strides, ‘Big Bird’ could deliver a snorting lifter, in-swinger, off-cutter or devastating yorker at will, using his six feet eight frame to the max. He was equally brilliant in one-dayers as first-class matches; nobody has got close to his career ODI economy rate of 3,09 and his 146 wickets were achieved at under 19 runs apiece. Imagine how effective he would have been in Twenty20!

I was lucky to follow cricket in an era chock full of fabulous fast bowlers. Kapil Dev, Imran Khan, Richard Hadlee, Waqar Younis, Wasim Akram, Allan Donald, Malcolm Marshall, Courtney Walsh and Curtly Ambrose were the cream of an abundant crop. In more recent times I have admired Glenn McGrath’s metronomic line and length, Dale Steyn’s rhythmic action and Shoaib Akhtar’s thunderous pace and Chaminda Vaas' impressive set of initials, but where are the English in my list?

Yes, I am impressed by Jimmy Anderson’s ability to swing it both ways but I can’t say I like him that much. A generation earlier, I was a big fan of John Lever’s left-arm swing bowling. Indeed, I saw quite a lot of him playing for Essex. In the Nineties, I was a fan of another left-arm fast-medium-pacer reliant on movement through the air for his success. This Yorkshire-born Gloucestershire pro became a one-Test wonder in 1997 but he secured my loyalty by dint of his name: Mike Smith, of course!

Top-class namesakes are rare, nor are there a plethora of fellow redheads in the sport. An exception is Glen Chapple, who bowled his fast-medium seam for Lancashire across more than two decades. I was at Lord’s for his almost singlehanded demolition of Essex in the Nat West Final of 1996, the year of his one and only England ODI appearance. Nineteen years later, I again felt deeply sorry for him when, in his forties and his hair less ginger than salt and pepper, form and fitness conspired to end his cricket career with a first-class wicket tally an agonising fifteen short of the thousand milestone.

Another long-standing stalwart of the Red Rose was David Hughes. Although primarily a left-arm spinner, he first attracted my attention with the bat. I was watching live coverage of the 1971 Gillette Cup semi-final against Gloucestershire when, in deep gloom and time running out, he proceeded to flay 24 off John Mortimore’s final over to win the match.

Of those who did manage a longer run in the England side, I quite liked Norman Cowans. His run-up was almost Holding-esque but without his fellow Jamaican’s end product. However, my favourite has to be Gladstone Small. Barbados-born, his hunched physique created an illusion of having no neck, exaggerated by the extravagant shirt collars worn at the time. His comical appearance nonetheless disguised a very useful quick bowler and, as well as a Warwickshire favourite, he was Man of the Match in England’s 1986 Boxing Day Test success in Melbourne.

Spinners have barely featured in this chapter. As with many cricket fans, it’s the pacemen who take my eye, all speed, strength and sizzle. There’s something almost primeval about a middle-stump sent cartwheeling by a 90mph nip-backer, which a gentle bat-pad catch simply cannot match. The slow bowler’s art is very different yet just as vital to an attack. Even in England teams featuring the likes of Snow, Willis or Ward, it was left-armer Derek Underwood who earned the nickname ‘Deadly’! If the Seventies and Eighties had been dominated by sneering, snarling fast bowlers, the subsequent decades were marked by the emergence of world-class spinners.

In any other era, India’s Anil Kumble would have been a global icon. And yet it was the record-breaking rivalry between Muttiah Muralitharan and Shane Warne which stole the show. Murali went on to set the amazing mark of 800 Test wickets and he was a magician of such sleight of hand that I could watch him for hours and never work out how he bowled at all, let alone pick his doosra. In contrast, Warne was a straightforward ‘leggie’ who burst onto the Test scene when leg-spinners were as rare as British Wimbledon singles champions. 

I was to have a love-hate relationship with the Aussie. I couldn’t embrace his bleach-blonde, beer-guzzling surfer-dude personality but there was something endearingly basic about that three-pace amble and roll of the wrists. Whilst an astute captain at Hampshire, he never got to lead Australia in their absolute pomp but he was undoubtedly one of the best bowlers of my lifetime. In particular, anyone who can make Mike Gatting so hilariously bamboozled as Shane Warne so memorably did in 1993 has to be an all-time favourite. And this portrait, which I once saw close up in the Lord's Long Room, captures his charisma perfectly.

Cricket in the SPOTYlight

In my younger days, one of the television highlights of the year was the BBC Sports Review of the Year. Broadcast live every December, I would enthusiastically wallow in nostalgia, loving the ‘goosebump’ moments from that year’s sporting events as well as the compilations of ‘funnies’ and special guests in the Beeb’s studio, watched by rows of mostly blokes in blazers.

This weekend, the programme will be hosted in the huge Genting Arena in Birmingham, complete with Oscars-style production values and a substantial audience expected to be wearing more dinner jackets and posh frocks than beige blazers. Amongst the many awards to be presented will be two of the more traditional ones: the overall BBC Sports Personality of the Year (SPOTY) and its Overseas equivalent.

The former has, since 1954, been determined by a public vote, be it by names submitted on a postcard or the current instant online method. By and large, those chosen have been worthy winners although BBC viewers have occasionally served up surprises.

Perhaps the greatest of them all came in 1975 when, after being called up by England to face the intimidating Aussie attack of Lillee and Thomson, cricketer David Steele saw off allcomers to take the SPOTY prize. Just as well, because the Ashes were lost but, while he scored consistently without once reaching three figures, the England batsman’s prematurely grey hair, schoolmasterly specs and shy-but-solid character endeared himself to the viewing public in an extraordinary way. Two years later he was largely forgotten but the name David Steele will forever be engraved on one of the trophy’s plinth shields.

In 64 years, only three other cricketers have taken the main award, and only two others placed second or third. In 1956, Jim Laker triumphed on the back of his 19-wicket achievement against Australia, then in 1981 and 2005, further Ashes accomplishments received SPOTY recognition, to the benefit of Ian Botham and Andrew Flintoff. Geoff Boycott and Graham Gooch are the additional pair to claim the minor prizes. Since cricket accepted self-imposed exile on Sky, becoming a minority sport in the process, the chances of a cricketer winning SPOTY have decreased sharply. I can’t imagine even Alastair Cook, Jimmy Anderson or Joe Root making Sunday night’s shortlist of six. Only another outstanding Ashes or World Cup performance could end the drought. 2019 perhaps?

But what about the Overseas Personality prize? Well, cricket hasn’t fared much better. Of course, individual sports are more suited than team games to such awards. While tennis and athletics have dominated in recent years a mere three cricketers have been selected by the judges (not public). The award was introduced in 1960, too late for Garry Sobers’ 365. However, the West Indian did receive the accolade in 1966, shared with World Cup footballer Eusebio.

It was another 28 years before Brian Lara erased the record, and a few others, making him a shoo-in for the BBC’s 1994 award. Then, in 2005, to balance Flintoff’s SPOTY and Ashes triumphs, the trophy went to the brilliant Aussie spinner Shane Warne, whose individual performances in defeat eclipsed even Freddie’s. However there has never been space in the panel's affections for superstars such as Dennis Lillee, Viv Richards (defeated in his vintage year of ’76 by gymnast Nadia Comaneci), Imran Khan, Sachin Tendulkar or Muttiah Muralitharan.

So could a cricketer win in 2018? Despite there being a Winter Olympics, Commonwealth Games and football World Cup, I reckon those charged with deciding these things must surely consider the claim of Virat Kohli. After such a stonking year for him personally, making loads of runs in all formats while shouldering the burdens of India’s captaincy and expectations, It is surely time for cricket to take centre stage once again on BBC Sport’s gala night of glory.

The curse of Brisbane strikes again?

It's 27 years since England last beat Australia at the Gabba in a Test match, and already they require a meteorological miracle of a stupendous rearguard batting performance by Cook, Pietersen, Root and Bell if the barren spell isn't to continue.

Back in 1986, Ian Botham and Graham Dilley set up a seven-wicket victory, with Chris Broad still there as the winning runs were struck. History tells us that Mike Gatting's England proceeded to clinch the Ashes that winter and that the tourists were to suffer for the next few decades. What happens in Brisbane usually indicates the Ashes series outcome, making a good start so important.

In 1990 the pace bowlers were totally dominant. No innings topped 200 but Bruce Reid, Merv Hughes and ultimately Terry Alderman did the most and the Taylor/Marsh opening partnership racked up the 157 needed to win inside three days. Four years later, Michael Slater and Mark Waugh took control on day one before Craig McDermott took 6-53. Taylor didn't enforce the follow-on, with the result that Shane Warne ran riot on a spinning wicket on day five.

Australia were in the driving seat in 1994, too, but centuries from Steve Waugh, Ian Healy and Slater again were not quite enough as thunderstorms and a flooded outfield wiped out the final session to save England blushes. However, the next two Gabba clashes produced Aussie slaughters.

In 2002, England won the toss for a change but, having inserted Waugh's team, Matthew Hayden and Ricky Ponting made hay early on. Hayden struck another brisk hundred second time around and, facing a massive target of 464, England collapsed to a pathetic 79 all out thanks to Messrs Warne and McGrath. Ponting was in charge by 2006 but the first innings total passed 600 as the captain amassed 196, ably supported by Justin Langer, Mike Hussey and Michael Clarke. McGrath's 6-50 left Australia with a huge lead which Langer extended to 647 by the end of the third day. Pre-echoes of 2013 as England lost two early wickets but there was to be no fairytale fightback by Cook, KP and Collingwood and they lost by 277 runs.

Can they do better tomorrow....?

Aussies maintain their Old Trafford run

I know the Third Ashes Test is only two days old, but England's chances of winning look rather slim after the performances of Michael Clarke, Smith, Rogers, Haddin and the latest late-order batting sensation Mitchell Starc! Whichever direction the pitch faces, Australia haven't lost an Ashes contest at Old Trafford since 1981, although it wasn't one of the venues four years ago.

In the '70s and early '80s it was all England in Manchester when it was all pavilion and railway wires in the background. In 1972, John Snow and Tony Greig starred in an 89-run triumph, despite the efforts of Aussie legends Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh. Five years later, Lillee was badly missed although it proved more of a spinner's wicket. Bob Woolmer's 137 and Derek Underwood's 6-66 in the second innings set up a nine-wicket victory. In 1981, of course, Ian Botham was on fire. He and Bob Willis helped dismiss Kim Hughes' side for 130 , but Lillee and Terry Alderman restricted the home side's lead to 101. Botham's sensational 118 in 102 balls, daring to thump Lillee's bouncers into the stands, extended the margin to more than 500. Despite Graeme Yallop and Allan Border scoring centuries, that proved 103 too many.

Four years on and the Green Baggies were beginning to rebuild under Border's captaincy. Nevertheless, Old Trafford saw them suffer another first innings mauling thanks largely to Mike Gatting's 160. However, Captain Grumpy produced one of his trademark rearguard actions, his unbeaten 146 staving off all that spinners Emburey and Edmonds could throw at him. In 1989, international cricket was changing, and Australia were challenging the West Indies for top dog status, and England were in the firing line.

At Manchester David Gower chose to bat but, despite Robin Smith's defiant century, England were bowled out for under 300. A solid Aussie batting line-up laid the foundation for an easy win, but a heroic 142-run seventh wicket stand between Emburey and Jack Russell almost saved the match. Almost. The 1993 Old Trafford Test was the Ashes opener, and was to become famous for not one, but two dismissals in particular. Gatting b Warne 4 doesn't quite tell the whole story, but that was the moment the cricketing world recognised the genius of a new leg-spinner as he delivered the Ball of the Century! Shane took anoher sevcen wickets in the game, and Merv Hughes claimed eight for himself, too. Facing a target of 500+ in almost two days, Graham Gooch advanced to 133 when he was given out 'handled ball', still one of the few instances in Test history. England finally succumbed by 179 runs as the Aussie attack fought against the clock to bowl them out.

The winning margin was even greater in '97, when Steve Waugh's two hundreds almost beat England on their own. Oh, and we shouldn't forget the seventeen wickets shared by that wonderful pairing of Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne. Eight years passed before the nations met once more under Lancastrian skies. Despite Manchester's reputation, rain hadn't seriously threatened results, and so it proved again, but this was to produce a memorably tight finish in a series renowned for them. Michael Vaughan's 166 and Simon Jones' 6-53 put the home team inthe driving seat before Strauss and co rubbed Aussie noses in it even further, declaring with the visitors 422 in arrears. Batsmen came and went but Ricky Ponting held firm. Harmison, Hoggard, Flintoff and Giles tried their best but Ponting's 156, then the last-wicket pairing of Brett Lee and McGrath, did enough to secure a draw, 52 runs short of an improbable victory.

So, moving on to this week and in the era of my cricketing interest, the Old Trafford roll call reads 3 wins apiece with 2 draws. Michael Clarke must hope that the unbeaten record at this grand old ground extends well beyond three decades.

Ashes Superteams

With a new Ashes series about to launch, it must also be time to look back and select my England and Australia fantasy teams from the past forty years, based on performances in Tests between the two on these shores.

For the home team, Graham Gooch may have scored the most runs in Ashes series from 1975 onwards but that owes more to longevity (25 matches) than dominance with the bat. Terry Alderman left his mark in the '80s and so my openers are Geoff Boycott and Andrew Strauss. They belong to very different eras, which makes the Yorkshireman's average of 64 in ten matches even more remarkable.

The middle-order comprises David Gower, Kevin Pietersen and Tim Robinson. Gower's 1445 runs at 45 speak for themselves, while KP's impact in recent seasons also earns him a place. Robinson may be a surprise but he averaged just over 50 in the 1985 and 1989 series either opening with Gooch or at number three. He served Nottinghamshire well for two decades but his finest international moments came against the Aussies.

Unusually I've gone for two all-rounders but of course both have their careers defined by their achievements in two Ashes series in particular. Ian Botham went from zero to hero in 1981, especially with the bat but throughout his career it's the 79 wickets at under 27 apiece which stand out. Andrew Flintoff is another whose legendary status owes more to one summer than a decade's service to his country. Strangely, while 2005 saw him bowl superbly alongside Jones, Hoggard et al but across nine Ashes Tests, his batting record of 602 runs at 37.62 eclipses his bowling stats. My wicketkeeper is not Alec Stewart, whose Ashes record is modest, but Alan Knott. Back in the '70s and early '80s, Knotty combined supreme tidiness behind the stumps with an excellent average of 40.82, beefing up the late-order when it mattered.

Opening the bowling with Botham (1981 vintage) has to be Bob Willis, who also starred in that summer as well as others. His average in 11 games is a mighty 21.42, including four 'five-fours'. Simon Jones played only in the 2005 contest but his 18 wickets at 21 are too impressive to ignore, and so there's no room for Gough, Caddick, Dilley, Hoggard or Anderson, although I wouldn't mind betting the latter will come into the reckoning in 2013. My spin option is John Emburey. The Middlesex offie contributed 43 wickets back in the '80s.

I found selecting the Aussie XI much easier, although I had to leave out skippers past and present Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke. Not because they have been rubbish in England, but owing to superior performances from the embarrassment of batting riches Australia have enjoyed in the past thirty years or so.

Mark Taylor (1584 runs in 18 Tests) and 1970s star Rick McCosker open the innings, followed by another ex-captain Allan Border. His 2,082 runs at more than 65 apiece are spread across 25 Tests, bridging the last Aussie fallow period in the early '80s and the world-leading age which emerged a decade later. Dean Jones was in prolific form in 1989 but the Waugh twins were even sharper thorns in English sides for many years. Mark averaged almost 50 but Steve's record is second to none: seven centuries, an average approaching 75 and a deserved reputation for brilliant leadership. He is my captain just ahead of Border, and he and his brother can share 'filler' roles with the ball, too.

Ian Healy beats Adam Gilchrist and Rod Marsh to the gloves but thye four frontline bowlers are automatic choices. Shane Warne claimed an amazing 129 Ashes wickets in England alone and it is easy to forget how good he was for the losing side in 2005. His partner in crime Glenn McGrath stands second in terms of wickets (87 in 14 Tests) and also for his average. Anything under 20 at this level is incredible but Mac's 19.34 is narrowly outshone by Terry Alderman's 19.33. In 1981 and 1989, the Perth swing and seam merchant weaved magic on English pitches, taking at least 40 wickets in both series, still a record. The line-up would not be complete without Dennis Lillee. He may not have been as fast as in the 1972 series (outside the scope of this exercise) but in 1981 he was still a master of his craft and was unlucky to finish on the losing side, as Warney did in 2005.

If I had to pick a combined Ashes superteam, I reckon only Boycott, Knott and Botham would represent England but let's hope Boycs and Beefy wouldn't have to bat together....

England: Boycott, Strauss (*), Robinson, Gower, Pietersen, Botham, Flintoff, Knott (+), Emburey, Jones, Willis.
Australia: Taylor, McCosker, Border, M Waugh, Jones, S Waugh(*), Healy(+), Warne, Alderman, Lillee, McGrath

And after the forthcoming clash, might these sides need adjusting? Time will tell, but more likely to be Cook, Prior, Root or Anderson than Hughes, Watson, Starc or Lyon, methinks!

Pakistan avoid a double low

In their 61-year cricketing history, Pakistan have been bowled out for under 100 only 14 times. Six of them have occurred in the past three years, culminating in that embarrassing dismissal for 49 yesterday. I wrote a few days ago that the South African pacemen could be spurred to do their worst but I couldn't have predicted figures of 6-8 for the sensational Steyn! Nevertheless, Graeme Smith chose not to enforce a follow-on and risk the match ending inside two days. That has had the benefit of treating the crowd to some typically entertaining innings from Amla and centurion AB De Villiers and the opportunity for Pakistan to set a more positive record by achieving the record fourth innings run chase.

I'm being generous here! Of course Pakistan were never going to knock off 480 to win, especially when Younis Khan's wicket left them gloomy on 82-4. Steyn, Philander et al could have blown them away inside an hour so hats off to skipper Misbah-ul-Haq and Asad Shafiq for battling their way to a century partnership and take the game into a fourth day. For all their recent batting collapses, the nation stands at a creditable fourth in the ICC rankings so they must be doing something right.

However, let's hope they avoid any more frightful failures in this series. On the controversial tour of England in 2010, which left half the team in jail, Pakitan were bowled out for 80, 72 and 74 in the First, Third and Fourth Tests, respectively. Needless to say they lost all these games heavily. For Steyn and Kallis, read Anderson and Swann! Only once have they been dismissed for a double-figure score and won. Fast forward to Dubai in 2012, and Pakistan were 2-0 up when Anderson, Broad and Panesar left them reeling at 99 all out on day one. Abdur Rehman's 5-30 kept them in the game, but when Younis and Azhar Ali blazed a double-century third-wicket stand to set England 324 to win, it was Umar Gul and Saeed Ajmal who did the damage and completed an impressive victory from the jaws of defeat.

The Middle East was the scene of possibly Pakistan's nadir back in 2002. In the Second Test at Sharjah against Australia, Waqar Younis' men were skittled for 50-something not once but twice! Younis and Misbah were both playing that day so yesterday's disaster must have stirred memories best left forgotten. At that time, the Aussie line-up was pretty much as strong as any we've witnessed in my lifetime: Langer, Hayden, Ponting, both Waughs, Martyn, Gilchrist, Warne, Lee, Bichel, McGrath. About the only thing that went right was Waqar winning the toss.

Both openers were back in the pavilion after 7 balls. It went from bad to worse. After McGrath and Lee came Bichel and the maestro Warne. Pity Abdul Razzaq, the only man to reach double figures as Pakistan plummeted to 59 all out. The second highest contribution came from extras (14). The performance was put into context by Australia's response. In particular, Matthew Hayden doubled Pakistan's score all on his own! However, Saqlain and Razzaq did well to restrict the Aussies' lead to about 250 but come the second innings, it was groundhog day for Waqar et al. This time, poor Taufeeq Umar's 'pair' was completed without facing a single ball (run out by Ponting)! A Lee lifter meant Razzaq retired hurt, then the highest partnership was shared by opener Imran Nazir and Misbah - a mighty 19 runs. The whole sorry sage was over in two hours. Australia had won by an innings, Pakistan had scraped a pathetic 112 runs in two innings and Warne's match figures were 17.5-6-24-8.

As for 2013, best write off the Jo'burg opener and re-gather strength for Cape Town.

Mr Cricket and Mr Thickhead

I used to like Shane Warne. The cheeky chubster with the crooked smile and the sprig of blonde hair waving above the forehead before he whirled his ample arm and usually bamboozled the world's best batsmen with prodigious leg-breaks. He deserves legendary status just for making Mike Gatting look such a plonker twenty years ago. I could even forgive him his occasional discretions off the pitch. He is simply the most exciting slow bowler I have ever seen. Murali took more wickets, had a better average and had the crazier eyes, but Warney almost single-handedly reinvented the art of leg spin and changed cricket as we know it.

It is therefore very sad to see the slimline Mr W blowing his top during the Melbourne derby BBL clash on Sunday. Marlon Samuels was hardly blameless for his manhandling of David Hussey earlier in the match. Nevertheless, Warne's constant swearing (enhanced by his being 'mic'd up' for TV) and childish lobbing of the ball at Samuels' body made him look ridiculous. I know that things can get heated in the middle but this was just pathetic. Given Warne's role model status, a one-game ban looks woefully inadequate. Perhaps he was given a bonus from Fox Sports for livening up their BBL coverage, but at least it should kill off any lingering speculation about the 43 year-old being recalled to the national side!

Contrast Warne's actions with the dignified retirement of Mike Hussey. Just five years younger, the batsman gave the world only a few days' notice of his intention to quit Test cricket after the third Sri Lanka match, and he was thre at the end on 27, even if he couldn't be the one to strike the winning run. The affection his team-mates had for him was obvious, as was the respect held by the opposition. Seeing genuine sportsmanship on the field of play always tugs at my emotions. Just as the Proteas' guard of honour for Ricky Ponting's last innings sent a proud shiver down my spine, so did the standing ovation for Mr Cricket at the SCG.

Such was the competition for batting places in the early 90s and early 2000s, Hussey didn't get a chance in the Aussie Test side until he had reached 30. However, his batting average was already past 50, with some prolific seasons in England and Western Australia behind him. His debut at Brisbane against the Windies in November 2005 saw him opening with Matthew Hayden, scoring 1 and 29. In his first ODI almost two years previously, he batted at seven, typically steering his side home against India.

He may have played only 79 Tests and 185 ODIs but he accumulated around 12,000 runs for Australia, averaging 52 in the five-dayers and an incredible 48 in 50-over fixtures. One of the true batting all-rounders, he was just at home in any format, and it seems such a shame that the Board tended to pick him for Tests and brother David for ODIs. They are (were?) both exceptional strokemakers, with the ability to 'finish', anchor or raise the strike rate, as I blogged a few years ago. Nevertheless, Michael has won the most plaudits for his batsmanship, professionalism and reluctance to play the celebrity fame game. Unlike Warne. And so it is Hussey who should be remembered this week, not his former team-mate.

Shane Warne - a Fond Farewell

From Ferntree Gully to Mumbai, Shane Warne's life has been somewhat out of the ordinary. In England, cricket is not a sport normally associated with big characters and sporting role-models. In Australia, things are different although Warne only turned to cricket having been rejected by his Aussie Rules club back in the late 1980s. I wonder how not only the Victorian superstar but also cricket itself would look today had he followed his dream with a much bigger ball and tighter shorts!

Aged 41, he has said the Rajasthan Royals' final game of IPL 2011 was definitely his swansong. Will he be lured back or will he do a Botham and be true to his word despite all the inducements? I somehow reckon he'll stick to his guns. After all he has such a fabulous career on which to look back. 1,851 wickets, almost 9000 runs and more than 400 catches tell only half the story. If you go by stats alone, he is not the best bowler of his generation, let alone deserving of the accolade of one of the five Cricketers of the Century. After all, in modern times, the likes of Muralitharan, Marshall, McGrath, even Shane Bond, have boasted a superior Test bowling average, but while Murali went on to claim many more wickets in all forms of cricket, most commentators and fans would still place SKW at the top of the tree.

I suppose I first discovered him like most other Brits, when he bamboozled Mike Gatting at Old Trafford on 4th June 1993 with such an outrageously turning leg break that the England number three seemed to take ages deciding whether to appeal against the decision on the basis that the laws of physics made it impossible and the stumps must have been clattered not by the ball but 'keeper Ian Healy. He took eight wickets in that Test and continued to frustrate and bewilder English batsmen for a further 13 years. He played his best in Ashes games, but he wasn't uniformly successful against all nations. For instance, he has a very mediocre record in India and the West Indies. For all his brilliance in recent IPLs, he isn't even the most successful or economical bowler for the Royals. He isn't even the best player called Shane to have represented the Royals! However, Warne is simply one of the most remarkable characters cricket has produced in my lifetime.

I certainly don't approve of everything he has done, especially off the pitch, but he really did single-handedly change the course of international cricket in the early '90s. After three decades when batsmen and fast bowlers were the biggest names in the game (maybe excepting in India), Shane made slow bowling 'cool' and revived the almost extinct art of leg-spin. No wonder Gatting looked so mesmerised that afternoon; he'd probably never faced a genuine leg-break before. Warne could be a bit of a bad boy but he was always generous and gracious to fellow sportsmen, despite the Aussies' tendency to sledge and grind opposition into submission. He and Murali swapped world records regularly in the last decade but both had enormous respect for each other, and that, in my book, is important.

When I saw him on TV playing for Rajasthan this Spring, I did scratch my head and wonder whether whether the Shane Warne filmed under the floodlights was the same Shane Warne I'd watched many times over the previous two decades. He seemed somehow younger, and, oh, those dazzling teeth! No, Shane, that just isn't you! You are supposed to be a bloke's bloke, not swan around with a celeb girlfriend!

I only saw him bowl two overs at first hand, and they were just to fill in time before an interval and give McGrath a rest amidst his 8-38 at Lord's in '97. However, my lasting memory of Warne was in the portrait which I recall hanging in the Long Room at Lord's. He's captured with trademark tousled blonde quiff, lopsided cheeky grin, nonchalantly flicking a ball in the air and for me that was Shane Warne. A bit naughty but nice, the master of his art and superb cricketer, simply one of the bast there has ever been. He will be missed.