Cricket's more than just tea and cucumber sandwiches, Boris!

Yesterday, the Prime Minister Boris Johnson performed one of his regular Covid U-turns and announced that recreational cricket could after all re-start in England on 11^th July. A few days earlier he’d refused because of “issues with teas and dressing rooms” and blaming the Chief Medical Officer Chris Whitty for insisting the ball was a potential means of virus transmission.

Teas and dressing rooms? That just proves how hopelessly out of touch Johnson is. I’ve no doubt some local clubs do indeed lay on a spread in the afternoon ‘tea’ interval’ and that players do indeed get changed in a dressing room of sorts. But, as an exasperated Michael Vaughan remarked, they are hardly essential to the sport. In any case, I have it on good authority that recreational cricketers, like their pro counterparts, are not averse to the odd slurp of the PM’s new favourite beverage, a pint of beer in place of a mug of English Breakfast or cup of Earl Grey. 

International cricket of sorts is restored this coming week when England entertain the West Indies in a Test. Now I don’t know whether players will be able to stop themselves smearing the ball with their saliva, any more than Anderson or Stokes can refrain from showering spittle-flecked sledges at their opponents It’s been irritating watching Premier League football these last few weeks. No fans, pitchside officials wearing smart face coverings, no ball-boys and elbow pumps at the start – only for the handshakes and hugs to resume once play starts and finishes. It makes a mockery of the whole thing. It really shouldn’t be too difficult to adapt. After all we’ve all being doing plenty of adapting the past four months. Some of us weren’t even allowed out of our houses for ten weeks. 

Now I’m delighted that Test cricket is returning and the county game will resume on 1^st August even if we have absolutely no idea about the format(s), structure or calendar. Championship fixtures should look familiar given that, sadly, spectators have been socially distancing for years. Actually I do support the absence of fans at the moment; it’s far too soon, especially in England, which remains a country with one of the highest infection rates outside the Americas. All in good time.

 I’ve never played cricket at any meaningful level but I have watched it in my local park as well as at Test arenas and it is a thoroughly relaxing summer spectator sport and presumably very enjoyable to participate in, too. It is certainly no more dangerous regarding Covid transmission than golf, tennis or basketball, which have been permitted for weeks. 

I do hope Boris manages to emerge from his secure fridge and observes the delights of recreational cricket himself, just as long as he doesn’t attempt to play; I recall his overly-aggressive attempts at football and rugby. I also trust he’ll bring his own sandwiches and a flask of tea – and take his litter home with him afterwards.